I have a lot of really wonderful people in my life but I also have reclusive tendencies that were accentuated after COVID.
So at the end of 2022 I promised myself I’d spend more quality time with friends and family, and work on my various social anxieties. On a whim I purchased an extra Hobonichi Weeks book and made it my “Anti-Social Social Journal.” Below are the key components:
Left side of the weekly pages
It was a big light bulb moment for me when I realized and accepted that I didn’t have to fill something in every single day of the week in this planner. When I first picked up the Weeks I filled it to the brim with all kinds of trackers, then realized too much information was essentially the same as no information.
So in my Anti Social Social Journal, I keep a record of activities I do with my friends and family, including hanging out in person and phone conversations that last more than a few minutes. This may sound mundane to some people, but I instinctually avoid these things and without extra incentive I think weeks, months, or years can fly by where I regret spending so little time with certain people I care about, simply because it’s easier or more comfortable to be alone.
When I flip through the first eight months of this year, I’m proud to say there’s something on every single weekly spread except for one. And because I recorded them all on paper and there’s nothing else on the pages competing for attention, I can vividly remember each of those special moments.
Right side of the weekly pages
The Hobonichi Weeks features blank grid paper on the right side of each weekly spread. I kept it simple and use it to write about whatever activities were on the left—sometimes it’s just a detailed description of a memory, and sometimes it’s reflection on how the activity made me feel. This exercise has helped crystallize the special moments for me, and also helped me realize that some people in my life have a tendency to bring me more joy than others.
Monthly calendar pages
I tried a few different things in the monthly pages, including a daily doodle, but ultimately landed on taking brief notes on interactions with different people and how they left me feeling afterward, e.g. happy, calm, valued, stressed, etc. This produced some very surprising patterns—it makes me appreciate some people more and realize why others spark something akin to a fight or flight reflex.
Perpetual/Annual calendar pages
Like all Hobonichi planners, the Weeks has a perpetual calendar in the beginning. But it’s so tiny that there isn’t much you can write in it. I used this section to track my social mood day by day using a color coding system to mark when I was feeling social (proactively wanting to see people), neutral, or anti-social. I didn’t keep up with this this practice though, because after three months I knew what my pattern was (mostly neutral and anti-social) and the tracking became tiresome because I wasn’t learning anything new anymore.
Notes pages
The Hobonichi Weeks has tons of notes pages in the back with page numbers and a table of contents. I use this section for journaling about everything related to relationships with friends and family, and reflections my social anxieties—analyzing moments that seem to trigger anti-social feelings, regrets about missed opportunities to spend quality time with loved ones, venting about stressful interactions, and even flashbacks to really awkward uncomfortable social moments throughout my life, including from my childhood, that still haunt me.
Needless to say this journaling has been quite therapeutic. I wouldn’t say it solves any problems, but it does help me articulate and deal with my feelings rather than letting them fester. I think it’s helped me be at more peace about some things. And if I ever decide to start therapy I feel like I’d be more ready to explore these topics.
The Weeks format can be a great weekly trainer for just about anything, and this is just one example. What are some ways you use yours? Share them with me on Instagram @ gemcha0s
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